I started a new blog...it's called Parenting isn't for sissies. I didn't mean to. I meant to log on here and post it here. Crap.
So yeah...c'est la vie Iguess. I'll keep them both. But probably post on the pretty one more! LOL
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Changes, changes, Changes
Stupid changes. Always changes. Sheesh. Just as I get used to things a certain way, it's time to change.
Of course, some changes are good changes. For instance, I need to change my diet. I've been working on me, and changing a few things, thinking a bit before I speak, slowing down, taking time for myself, those kinds of things. However, now I need to lose weight.
Oddly enough, I don't feel fat. I AM fat, make no mistake, but I don't feel fat. I feel out of shape, that's for sure. I'd love to be able to keep up with the kids more. And the kids. I need to change for the kids. I know "they" say that you shouldn't lose weight for anyone else, but my kids are important to me. I want to be around in 40 years. I think that's reasonable.
So. What do these changes mean? Well, not snacking at night for one. Seriously. I'm SO bad for that. I get bored watching "Greys Anatomy" and I need to eat...or wait. I don't "need" to eat. I want to eat. I like to eat. I like chips. I REALLY like chips. I take too much at dinner time. That needs to change. I need to eat more veggies (isn't that everyone's problem sometimes?). I need to be more focused and thinking about what I'm eating.
Exercise. Man. That's not easy right now. A baby, a three year old and freakin deep winter weather. Good luck there. However, I'm starting to look into other ways I can get some exercise and still manage to have the kids around somewhere safe, without freezing off appendages. Their's or mine. The gym I go to has childcare, but I need to pay that bill first. Then I can go back. Or at least, that's the plan. I'm up in the morning anyway. Why not go to the gym after dropping off Logan. Seriously. Drop Logan off at school, take Olivia and Grady and go to the gym. Get some me time and get a workout.
Those are the two main problems. But they are not out of reach.
Mentally, I'm doing alright. I'm on medication, but whatever, if I need it, I need it. And it helps. For sure. It's alot quieter in my head, as odd as that sounds. I'm pretty sure that if some people spent anytime in my brain and realized how much goes through it, normal or not, then they'd be exhausted. Sometimes, it's a neverending diatribe, and considering how much I talk sometimes, that's saying something. It's a wonder I don't annoy myself. In order to combat some of those mental issues I've been seeing a counsellor. She's wonderful and I really have connected with her. She has wonderful ways of expressing things and thankfully, she understands where I'm coming from. I like that. Sometimes, it's hard to find people who understand me, or even who want to understand me. I've also learned alot about myself. She lets me ramble just so I can work things out, and often, I just need a sounding board. But lately, I'm rather enjoying the fact that she's had lots of strategies to help me through some of the thoughts I have.
My family doc has been extremely understanding and supportive. I went to see her on Tuesday and she ran a bunch of tests to make sure I'm not diabetic, pregnant or any of those things. If I'm diabetic, that's a bridge I'll cross when I come to it, but I wanted to make sure so that I didn't go to the gym having not eaten something I should have and then pass out on the floor because I didn't pay attention to my body. I need to be a bit more in touch with my body. Like I said, I'm fat. I don't FEEL fat, but I'm fat. I'm looking old, tired and worn down. I don't like that. I don't really FEEL that way all the time, but I LOOK that way all the time. So it was time to see the doctor, rule out any health issues and then I can safely start a good regime that will help me become healthier. Inside and outside. I doubt that all the counselling in the world will help if I don't feel good about the outside as well.
The kids are awesome. We've had alot of illnesses and crap, but really, they are such wonderful kids. Logan is smart, learning so fast and very well liked. He's happy, growing and healthy. I can't ask for more. He's articulate, fun to be with and easy to talk to. Olivia's a girl, she's three and she's a princess. She has tantrums, but I've learned to deal with those as effectively as I can. But she's so smart, articulate and funny. I always enjoy the funny things that come out of her mouth and I laugh almost daily because of her, even on her worst days. Grady's a joy. He's congenial, friendly and always smiling. He cries when he's hungry or tired. It's just so fun. We didn't even know he was teething but he sprouted two teeth! Awesome baby...just awesome. I couldn't ask for more. Three marvellous kids who are just the best.
And Jeff. Jeff's just the best husband. He helps me so much around here. He's such a hardworker and dedicated to us. He makes sure that we have what we need. It's great! He's even gone above and beyond...in a big way. I'm so happy with him. We have our "issues" but we're pretty good at working them out, in whatever way we need to.
So. If I want to keep this content feeling, this wonderful family and improve my health, then it's time. Just a note though. This is NOT a new year's resolution. I'm sure people read this and thinkg "Yeah yeah yeah" but it's not. These are things that have been on my mind for several months, but with all the illnesses, new baby and such, it's been difficult to implement these changes. Besides, why would I do it to myself at Christmas? I sort of had to do that last year and it sucked. I might as well have enjoyed my holiday season instead of thinking "Should I eat that?" LOL
Time for change. As usual. Again. At least this is a positive change...
Of course, some changes are good changes. For instance, I need to change my diet. I've been working on me, and changing a few things, thinking a bit before I speak, slowing down, taking time for myself, those kinds of things. However, now I need to lose weight.
Oddly enough, I don't feel fat. I AM fat, make no mistake, but I don't feel fat. I feel out of shape, that's for sure. I'd love to be able to keep up with the kids more. And the kids. I need to change for the kids. I know "they" say that you shouldn't lose weight for anyone else, but my kids are important to me. I want to be around in 40 years. I think that's reasonable.
So. What do these changes mean? Well, not snacking at night for one. Seriously. I'm SO bad for that. I get bored watching "Greys Anatomy" and I need to eat...or wait. I don't "need" to eat. I want to eat. I like to eat. I like chips. I REALLY like chips. I take too much at dinner time. That needs to change. I need to eat more veggies (isn't that everyone's problem sometimes?). I need to be more focused and thinking about what I'm eating.
Exercise. Man. That's not easy right now. A baby, a three year old and freakin deep winter weather. Good luck there. However, I'm starting to look into other ways I can get some exercise and still manage to have the kids around somewhere safe, without freezing off appendages. Their's or mine. The gym I go to has childcare, but I need to pay that bill first. Then I can go back. Or at least, that's the plan. I'm up in the morning anyway. Why not go to the gym after dropping off Logan. Seriously. Drop Logan off at school, take Olivia and Grady and go to the gym. Get some me time and get a workout.
Those are the two main problems. But they are not out of reach.
Mentally, I'm doing alright. I'm on medication, but whatever, if I need it, I need it. And it helps. For sure. It's alot quieter in my head, as odd as that sounds. I'm pretty sure that if some people spent anytime in my brain and realized how much goes through it, normal or not, then they'd be exhausted. Sometimes, it's a neverending diatribe, and considering how much I talk sometimes, that's saying something. It's a wonder I don't annoy myself. In order to combat some of those mental issues I've been seeing a counsellor. She's wonderful and I really have connected with her. She has wonderful ways of expressing things and thankfully, she understands where I'm coming from. I like that. Sometimes, it's hard to find people who understand me, or even who want to understand me. I've also learned alot about myself. She lets me ramble just so I can work things out, and often, I just need a sounding board. But lately, I'm rather enjoying the fact that she's had lots of strategies to help me through some of the thoughts I have.
My family doc has been extremely understanding and supportive. I went to see her on Tuesday and she ran a bunch of tests to make sure I'm not diabetic, pregnant or any of those things. If I'm diabetic, that's a bridge I'll cross when I come to it, but I wanted to make sure so that I didn't go to the gym having not eaten something I should have and then pass out on the floor because I didn't pay attention to my body. I need to be a bit more in touch with my body. Like I said, I'm fat. I don't FEEL fat, but I'm fat. I'm looking old, tired and worn down. I don't like that. I don't really FEEL that way all the time, but I LOOK that way all the time. So it was time to see the doctor, rule out any health issues and then I can safely start a good regime that will help me become healthier. Inside and outside. I doubt that all the counselling in the world will help if I don't feel good about the outside as well.
The kids are awesome. We've had alot of illnesses and crap, but really, they are such wonderful kids. Logan is smart, learning so fast and very well liked. He's happy, growing and healthy. I can't ask for more. He's articulate, fun to be with and easy to talk to. Olivia's a girl, she's three and she's a princess. She has tantrums, but I've learned to deal with those as effectively as I can. But she's so smart, articulate and funny. I always enjoy the funny things that come out of her mouth and I laugh almost daily because of her, even on her worst days. Grady's a joy. He's congenial, friendly and always smiling. He cries when he's hungry or tired. It's just so fun. We didn't even know he was teething but he sprouted two teeth! Awesome baby...just awesome. I couldn't ask for more. Three marvellous kids who are just the best.
And Jeff. Jeff's just the best husband. He helps me so much around here. He's such a hardworker and dedicated to us. He makes sure that we have what we need. It's great! He's even gone above and beyond...in a big way. I'm so happy with him. We have our "issues" but we're pretty good at working them out, in whatever way we need to.
So. If I want to keep this content feeling, this wonderful family and improve my health, then it's time. Just a note though. This is NOT a new year's resolution. I'm sure people read this and thinkg "Yeah yeah yeah" but it's not. These are things that have been on my mind for several months, but with all the illnesses, new baby and such, it's been difficult to implement these changes. Besides, why would I do it to myself at Christmas? I sort of had to do that last year and it sucked. I might as well have enjoyed my holiday season instead of thinking "Should I eat that?" LOL
Time for change. As usual. Again. At least this is a positive change...
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