Gravity Sucks

So in recent days, I've had a few interesting situations.

The other day, after the diaper fell off Olivia's bum, the two of them decided to play "Hairdresser". I didn't realize that it meant that they were actually using real hair product.

I was sitting at the table at dinner and I looked at Logan and asked him, "Why does your hair look wet?"

"It's not wet."

"Yes it is. I can tell. The top of your hair is flat."

"Oh, well it's not wet."

And I left it at that. I didn't really understand why he was arguing, I could plainly see it was "wet".

A little after dinner, I smell something not unpleasant, but familiar, and look up on the first landing of our stairs to find Olivia playing with my hair mousse. Okay. Mystery solved. It wasn't wet, it was slicked down with hair mousse. *sigh*

A couple hours later, I was outside having a conversation with my neighbour over our fence. I hear "HI MOMMY!"

I look up to find Logan standing IN his window. As in ON his window sill. Uh...

His room is on the second floor, with nothing below but concrete to stop his fall. *HEART ATTACK CITY!!!* NOW, I had placed a plank in his window because alot of evenings in the summertime, the kids that live on the other side of us will stand outside of our yard and yell Logan's name. If his window is open all the way, he will yell back. SO the window was only open about two to three inches. Not enough for him to fall through the screen, but as I was talking to my neighbour, she informed me that he'd been in the window before................ Oh heavens.

I go upstairs after it sort of sinks in, to discuss with my son the reasons WHY this is so bad. I start to cry, because frankly, all I can picture is my little boy, falling from his window. The results of which could be death. Perhaps not, but I mean, the injuries would be pretty greivous at best.

I tell him about who would miss him, mommy, daddy, Olivia, grandmas and grandpas, uncles and aunts, friends, etc. I tell him how he wouldn't be able to see us anymore. There'd be no more Logan. Totally broke my heart to even say it, but Logan's not the type of kid you say "Don't do that!" and he stops. He needs a bit more convincing.

I go up there a little while later, only to CATCH HIM IN HIS WINDOW AGAIN!! OMG!! So I break out the big guns. Please don't judge me for what I'm about to say. I was grasping at straws at this point, trying to get it to my son WHY this is such a bad idea.

I said to him "Do you remember when Tristan died?" (Tristan was our dog until Logan was 2 1/2. Unbelieveably enough, he remembers this and mentions it frequently to various individuals)

He nods.

"Okay then. If you fall out of your window, it will be like that. They will take you to the hospital and you won't be coming home."

That made something click. But in doing so, I made him cry. Man...I'm a jerk. But I can't feel bad about it. I need to get it across to him. I take away the ladder to his bed, to keep him from climbing. Turns out, he doesn't need the ladder. He just climbs up the side of his bed, uses the window sill, then gets what he wants out of his bed. Monkey child...great. I always wanted one of those........

I question if perhaps we should look into gymnastics. I mean, why not? But then, he'd LEARN how to climb. BUT maybe if we used it like Karate, where it's told to people that you only use in self defense, not for any other reason...maybe. Just maybe, another adult's voice in his head saying "You only do gymnastics in the gym." might click. It's crazy enough to work!

Next day, he's outside playing. I know the neighbour kids are outside. I bet you're asking,

"Why doesn't she let Logan play with the neighbour kids?"

I have plenty of reasons, I won't go into them now, but there are plenty of issues regarding this family. I've had to call the police more than once about them, and I don't want to be mixed up with this family. And I won't let my five year old run around the streets by himself. No way. The little girl in question is his age, we live on a bus route and she's frequently out on her own, with no adult supervision more often than not. I refuse to allow my child to be out there on his own. He's like a beagle. His nose would hit the ground, his curiosity would flare and he'd wind up 5 kms away from home. And that's just ONE of the reasons. I think that alone is JUST FINE!

Anyway, she was outside the yard, talking to him. I could hear them. I had come into the house for a few minutes (I have two windows facing my postage stamp yard. It's not like I can't see them) and when I came back outside, he was STANDING ON THE MAILBOX! Okay. I own a monkey for a child. Back to discussing head injuries with him, informing him about how bad he could hurt himself. How much he could lose from a head injury and that's worst case. Best case, he'd sprain or break a bone. Still not a good option!

It was an incredibly trying 24 hours. Since then, my daughter's diaper has fallen off AGAIN, both Logan and Olivia have each fallen down at least one set of the stairs (I have three landings and each set of stairs is only four to five carpeted stairs. It's not so bad). Olivia fell down at the park and scraped her knee and "required" a Dora bandaid. My children are bruised, battered and beaten in the leg area. I almost just want to put pants on them just so people don't think I beat them!

And so I say this with absolute authority...

GRAVITY SUCKS!!